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No more Mr. Nice Guy
770,508 deaths

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TALES FROM THE TUG
.
It is winter. A blanket of snow outside. You shuffle out in the morning
darkness to the row of cars on the street, shovel away the drifts around the tires,
sweep the snow piled on the car, scrape the crust of hard ice from the windows...
damn it, that's not your car!

It is winter. The windows are frosted over, nothing can be seen through this
 white patchwork of ice crystals, the entire winter world is blocked from view,
 but don't worry, you know this road like the back of your hand.
 

It is winter. On a chilly cold New Year's Day, as I walk through the
snow out behind the house, I make a New Year's resolution....
this year we're getting indoor plumbing.

It is winter. Outside the snow is piled deep, the north wind blows all
night, but here inside, your snuggled warm, your face bathed in orange
light from the cigarette lighter as you wait for the tow truck.

It is winter. The Christmas lights are up. They frame the house in
twinkling rainbow colors, from late December to mid July.

It is winter. My car is safely nestled in a ditch. I stand behind it and warm
myface with the exhaust. It feels good, but it makes lunch taste funny.
 

It is winter. Children's laughter at the front door. They tumble into the house,
boots off, hats off, sweaters, snow suits are peeled away.
Hey! These aren't your kids.

It is spring. The groundhog comes out of his hole and sees a shadow.
It is the shadow of my right front tire. That means winter will last another
six weeks, but not for him.

It is spring. Young couples return from the woods with stars in their eyes,
love in there hearts and mosquito bites that can't be scratched in public.

It is spring. The days are growing longer, the nights are growing shorter.
Some of us think there may be a connection.

It is summer. We have had no rain, there is no water, no fruit, no vegetables,
not a drop for our crops or our livestock. If it wasn't for the brewery,
this could be serious.

It is summer. Two men are arm wrestling, locked in a draw for 15 minutes
with their huge ham like fists wrapped around the last beer in the house.

                                                                                                                                                    The Red Green Show

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